Everyday Disciple: Bekah's Story

December 5, 2017 Diana Gruver

This post is part of an on-going Everyday Disciple series. We're celebrating here what it looks like to follow Christ faithfully in the day-to-day. I am thankful to share the stories of gracious friends and readers, and I have sought to preserve and honor their voice in the post below. I invite you to join me as we listen to their experience as an "everyday disciple."

Bekah and I first met while working at a summer camp in Pennsylvania. We'd fallen out of touch in recent years, but I was excited when she emailed me to share some of her story. It's a story both of how she sees God working through her work - and of how God has used other "everyday disciples" to direct her to the place she is today.

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The beginning of my freshman year at Shippensburg University was a challenging and unusual situation. I was a commuter, a student athlete, and an undeclared major.

As a commuting student, I felt like an outsider. (I once had someone tell me, “You are not a real college student anyway.”) I loved being a part of the cross country team, but my situation was different from that of my teammates. I had to wake up earlier to get to school for practice, and when teammates wanted to hang out after practices, I eventually had to go home. As I watched new students move in, I witnessed something I would never experience. It was very hard for me.

Early on, I met Melissa, who was an intern with the Coalition for Christian Outreach (CCO). We began meeting weekly, and she took time to listen, encourage, and mentor me throughout my first year. At one of our meetings, Melissa told me she could see me working with college students someday. I gave her a quizzical look and just brushed the statement off.

I made a painful decision to stop doing track in the spring season. Little did I know that this hard decision would lead me to discovering my passion to work with college students.

I eventually began volunteering with the Career Center. In the fall of my senior year, the Director, Victoria, said, “I could see you working in higher education with college students some day or even having a position like me one day.” Once again, I brushed the statement off. I planned to stay with the company I’d been working at since high school.

But as I began to think about what came after graduation, the conversations I’d had with Melissa and Victoria kept overwhelming my thoughts about what I really wanted to do. Through long course of discernment, prayer, and decision making, I ended up where I am now: at Geneva College, getting a Master of Arts in Higher Education Administration and working as the Graduate Assistant-Career Coach in the Career Development Center on campus.

Looking back, I am amazed how God used Melissa and Victoria to encourage me to work with college students and in career development. It is a testament to me that the Lord truly has a plan for the experiences of our lives and he brings people along to speak wisdom and encouragement to us as we pursue our passions and use our gifts and abilities.

I take the time to tell this story because I now get to influence and make a difference in the lives of students just as previous professors, staff, and mentors (like Melissa and Victoria) have made on me throughout my life. I meet with students, as they did with me, to help them better understand their callings and professional pursuits. I get to help students explore their purpose in life—discovering the passions God has given them, understanding how their past has influenced their present, focusing on the whole picture, remembering that God has a plan for their life.

I see my work in the Career Development Center as a way to help students know that whatever career they choose, the Lord can use them in it to be a light for Him. I want to show Christ’s love to each student so they know that they matter, their story matters, and their experiences matter.

I ask you to pray for our college students and the college communities across the nation and the world. Many of our students are facing major challenges and are trying to figure out the plans for their lives. I ask you to consider connecting with a college student or someone you know who works in the college setting.

Meaningful and supportive relationships can help these students see and reach the individual and unique potential the Lord has for their lives. We can encourage our young people to use the gifts and strengths the Lord has blessed them with in the careers and opportunities they will have for the rest of their lives.

I know—because I was once one of them.

Everyday Disciple: Autumn's Story

November 28, 2017 Diana Gruver

Autumn is one of my dearest friends. It all started our freshman year of college when I plopped down on her bed and started chatting away. (I may or may not have been accidentally sitting on her pillow, which has never ceased to be a source of debate.) She’s been a faithful, grace-filled, gospel-obsessed sounding board ever since, and she helps me remember to not take myself too seriously. I’m thankful to call her a friend and honored to share some of her story with you today.

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I became a wedding photographer by accident. When I graduated from school, I knew I wasn't quite ready for graduate school but had no clue what to do with my history degree. I jokingly listed out the activities for my dream job (with Diana, no less): hearing people's stories, drinking coffee, traveling for free, serving in new ways.

Without any effort on my part, the Lord gave me that exact job. One friend asked if I'd photograph her wedding, then another, and before I knew it, I was forming a legal business and crafting a website. It's been non-stop ever since.

I spend months helping couples plan the details and shoot the events of their wedding day. Throughout the entire process, I have opportunities to serve them, bring them joy, and count them (and their guests) as more important than myself.

Couples typically experience a roller coaster of stress, worry, excitement, anxiety, happiness, and giddiness—weekly. As a “wedding expert,” I can offer advice steeped in grace, hope, and perspective. I can gently bring a couple back to the importance of the covenant when the world becomes too distracting and celebrate what matters most with them.

I have an opportunity to spend more time with my couples than anyone else at their weddings, including their very best friends. This gives me continuous moments to serve, encourage, and build up my in-love clients on the day of their weddings—even when family difficulties cause stress, when my back hurts and I have five hours left, or the weather threatens to destroy everything.

Couples trust me with a day that will always rank as one of the more important days of their lives. My job never gets a re-do, and I feel the weight of the responsibility of doing my job fully and excellently because it's a one-time-thing. I believe I bring God glory by being prepared, focused, and diligent throughout my entire time in a couple’s service.

I wish people understood that my work is not frivolous or materialistic. Has the wedding world exploded in expense and extravagance? Sure. Are the fanciest, most amazing photos a requirement for a wedding? No. Is my job petty or easy? Absolutely not.

I see the gospel in every part of my work. When I listen to couple's stories, I hear of God's faithfulness. When I see the way a bride sneaks looks at her groom, I see his delight in giving good gifts. When I watch mother and fathers dance with the grooms and brides, I see God's parental joy and guidance. When I see best friends shed tears of joys and hear toasts of answered prayers, I see God's church walking in grace. When I see the moment a man and a woman say, "I do," to one another for a lifetime, I see God's commitment to his plans. When I stop to think of the love overflowing on a wedding day, I think of the future fullness of joy when Christ receives his bride and we celebrate at the greatest wedding feast.

My work is rooted in my deep respect and thankfulness for the gift of marriage, which was given to us by a good and loving God to better understand the gospel. I believe my photos capture a moment in time that changes a family and the generations to come. I believe my photos bring people back to their covenant promises again and again.

Ultimately, my job is to be a covenant historian. I know wedding days can be a lot of beautiful dresses, gorgeous flowers, and hopefully delicious food, but at their core, wedding days are covenant days.

There is always this point during a wedding ceremony when I feel goose bumps cover my arms and my sense of hearing sharpens—it’s always right before the vows. I stand there, in the middle of the aisle, and I watch a covenant being made. One man, one woman, and God. For better, for worse, in sickness, in health, in plenty, in lack, as long as they both shall live.

My finger hits the shutter, and I look at my watch noting the exact time the covenant was made. It never fails to amaze me that my job is to document such a heavy and beautiful moment.

Everyday Disciple: Tammy's Story

November 21, 2017 Diana Gruver

I remember when I first met Tammy at the women’s Bible study at our church. I walked away from our brief conversation with a gut-level awareness that I had found a kindred spirit. We now meet for lunch as often as our busy schedules allow, to talk about writing, life, and our shared desire to see hurting people made well. It is a delight to share some of her story here with you today.

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I am a psychotherapist. I have a private practice working with teens and adults.

I absolutely love helping hurting people feel better. I have the honor of witnessing people begin to be free of their pain and being a part of God’s work in people’s minds and hearts.

When we address pain in therapy, I think it models the help and abundant life Jesus offered to us. I believe people can live more “abundantly” as they learn to ‘solve the solvable problems’ or ‘cope ahead’ to deal with an upcoming stressful situation or find comfort in healthy activities instead of in things that bring more pain.

I’ve been learning a lot lately about Internal Family Systems therapy. The theory behind this approach is that we all have an “internal system,” made of different parts, some we like, some we do not like.

For example, there might be a “part” of someone that does not want to get out of bed, that is scared and overwhelmed. But there is also another “part” that wants to get up early to run ten miles, do a crossword puzzle, and change the beds. This part is also scared and using perfectionism to try to feel better.

In therapy, I help people learn about this inner dialogue and conflict, and help them to see, hear from, and be with these various parts of themselves. The goal is to help them start to understand both parts and learn to validate their conflicted internal feelings. In that moment, they can find their “true Self,” the one grounded, centered, and calm in the midst of these “parts.” I believe in this place they can find healing and experience the Holy Spirit pouring into their minds and hands and feet, empowering them to live in abundance.

The Christian community is just beginning to understand and support those who are suffering with mental illness. But, we would all be surprised at the number of people in our churches who are dealing with ‘functional’ anxiety and depression. (Not to mention those struggling with addiction to pornography, to drugs, to alcohol, to control and power.)

They get up, go to work, take care of their kids, and, all the while they are screaming inside. The shame and the stigma keep them from whispering it out loud: “I am a Christian and I am sad. I feel alone. I am afraid.”

We want people to admit they are sinners, but often, as Christians, we do not want to admit we need feel bad and need help. I get it—we all wish we had it all together all the time. But we don’t, and it is silly to pretend otherwise. It is okay to seek help. It is okay to admit we are struggling. I wish Christians knew that healthy, normal people go to therapy. It helps.

Sometimes horrible things happen to people, and sometimes people’s daily lives are torment. Some live with depression, anxiety, terrifying memories, illness, and pain. I, on the other hand, can hardly tolerate having a cold for more than a week. Because of my own faith, I believe there is light and there is love in the midst of all kinds of pain. If I can help people see this and experience it, then I know and am reminded how God is present in my life and theirs.

If you would like to be a part of this project, I would love to hear your story. Contact me for more information.

Everyday Disciple: Scott's Story

November 14, 2017 Diana Gruver

For our first story, I thought I’d stay close to home. Scott and I first met working on the leadership team of a summer camp. Little could I have known that first day, when he showed up on crutches still recovering from knee surgery, that four years later we’d be married.

Now, I see Scott lace his thick work boots each morning, clip on his ID badge, and head out to another day of work. Each evening, I listen for the creak of the storm door as he comes home and talks of the successes and challenges of the day. He’s passionate about manufacturing and about creating efficient and creative work. It’s a joy to share some of his story with you today.

***

I work as a manufacturing engineer at a company that makes parts for commercial aircraft. I program inspection equipment, 5-axis milling machines, and am part of a development team for electro-chemical machining.

Simply put, I work on processes to make our parts as efficiently and accurately as possible. I take simple hunks of metal and turn them into complex parts. But I also get to be a part of the process that makes airplanes more fuel and cost efficient, which can make the ability to travel and “come together” more accessible to people.

I really enjoy making improvements to the processes we use. I love learning new processes, seeing how someone else approached a problem, and trying to apply the things I’ve learned from past experience to make the process better. I like it when my improvements mean that I improve the job of the people running machines.

For example, I recently was put in charge of improving the tools used for a process we’d been doing for years. It was the initial cutting at the beginning of making the part. We were removing a lot of material quickly, but the tool made a lot of noise and wore out fast. It was an expensive way to remove the material, and it created a lot of waste.

With help from other people, I was able to find a different tool to replace our old one. The end result was to do what originally took us 30 minutes in 5 minutes, while also cutting the cost in half. It was exciting because I empowered the guy running the machine to be a lot more productive—and improved his working environment by removing a lot of the noise from the tool. I also saved my company a lot of money, freeing them to do more things with that money such as making more jobs or giving more to the community.

My faith encourages me to make the world a better place through creativity. I’m doing my best work when I’m able to use my imagination and creatively make something new, but I’m also constrained by the rules and order that God put into his creation. I experience regularly the massive amount of work and energy that goes into making comparatively simple things and am amazed at how balanced and excellent this earth is. In this way, my work gives me an appreciation for God as a Creator.

Doing good work like this, as a Christian—seeking understanding of how the world works and applying that understanding to actually change something for the better—adds a small piece to the reputation Christians have in the workplace. I have opportunities to build relationships—and friendships—with all kinds of people. I can model integrity through honest and thorough work. I can be creative in the solutions I try. I think working this way gives Christians a reputation as people who are thoughtful, creative, and hardworking. I might not be these things all the time, but when I can do it and do it well, it slowly builds on the positive reputation of who Christians are as workers.

If you would like to be a part of this project, I would love to hear your story. Contact me for more information.

Everyday Disciple: The Unsung Stories

November 7, 2017 Diana Gruver

It is rare for the churches I’ve attended to invite others to the front to share. It’s typically reserved for progress reports of church ministries and events, visiting ministry partners, and people leaving to go on missions trips.

She fell into that last category. They called her forward one Sunday, gave her time to share, prayed over and commissioned her. She was nervous but passionate, her pale cheeks flushing as she shared her desire to serve God and be willing to take risks for Him.

I had once been her—a graduating senior, about to embark on an international ministry adventure. Freshly out of school for the first time since age five. Leaving behind the security of family, friends, culture, schedule. It was exhilarating and terrifying—like plunging from a cliff.

She was praised by the pastor. I remember him saying, “I want to thank you and commend you for taking this step of faith. You could have done anything with this next year, but you’ve decided to entrust it to the Lord. You’re going to the true frontline of mission.”

I thought of the other students, clustered throughout the sanctuary, those entering traditional, not explicitly Christian jobs, those who would never be called to the front. What was being communicated to them as they watched their classmate at the front of the sanctuary?

The girl with the long flowing hair and quick smile, about to enter a grueling MFA program.

The boy with the auburn beard and flannel carefully tucked into belted jeans, who had already secured an engineering job.

The girl with the cropped dark hair and thick framed glasses, working the late night shift at the hospital.

Were they not on mission’s frontline? Were they not faithfully entrusting their lives to God? Was their decision to enter the workforce a lesser calling?

Even if church leaders would balk at such a suggestion, it’s sadly what gets implicitly (or explicitly) communicated by how we talk and what we celebrate.

Sometimes obedience and faith lead us to seminary or to a foreign nation. Sometimes obedience and faith lead us to cultivating a small business or working a traditional nine to five. There is no divide between them—they are simply different callings, with their own joys, challenges, and temptations.

Both invite us into the thrilling adventure of watching and participating in God’s work in the world. Both uniquely position us to live faithfully as disciples of Christ. Both are on the frontline of mission.

I can see them now—face after face of Christians I know who work “normal” jobs each day, who faithfully go about their work, as disciples of Christ. Their stories go unheard, uncelebrated. They do not scatter out into their workplaces with the sense that the Church is commissioning and supporting them in their work.

But we can begin to change that through the stories we tell. We can pause to celebrate stories of everyday faithfulness. These everyday saints in our midst have stories to tell. They are stories of how God is working in our ordinary lives, of how He uses our work to shape us as His disciples. They are stories of how He enters our simple human existence and touches it with His glory. These stories are all around us, if only we take the time to listen.

If you would like to be a part of the Everyday Disciple project, I would love to hear your story. Contact me for more information.

I believe that in every moment we find an invitation to follow Jesus. In the mundane and the sublime. In the joyous and the grief-stricken. In everything, I find myself asking, "What does it look like to follow You faithfully here, in this season, in this moment?"

I invite you to explore this with me here.

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