This time of year always has a sense of warmth about it for me. I love the music, the twinkling lights, the baked treats, the nights by the fire, the time with family. It feels cozy and rich in my mind’s eye. But it can also easily feel hectic or stressful. I find myself swept in the bustle, my thoughts set on getting the best deals on gifts, and how I’ll manage getting everything done on my to-do list with a toddler adventuring everywhere.
This is why I love Advent. It creates a space that tells me to stop. It resets my focus. It gives me permission to be still. It also gives me permission to admit that all is not “merry and bright.” It invites me into the dark—into mourning over the ways the brokenness of the world invades my life, my community, and my soul, into anticipation for the day yet to come when all is made right. It reminds me that it was because of this very darkness that Jesus entered the world. It reminds me that his light has shone in that darkness and regardless of what I see, regardless of the wait, that light will not be overcome.
I love the Christmas season, don’t get me wrong, but I’m realizing that the stress of the hustle and bustle is not good for my soul. As I try to resist the stress it brings, I’ve thought about some practical steps we can take to cultivate an Advent spirit and create space for stillness and reflection during this season. Though it’s by no means exhaustive, I wanted to share that list with you.
1. Use a tool for reflection. There are many wonderful tools you can use for reflection. The key with these isn’t about doing more or finding yet another routine to be distracted by. These resources are intended to serve us as we attempt to train our vision in the right direction. You can look for whatever tool will best help you and your family. Here are some that I have found helpful.
Music: At least once during the Advent season I take time to listen to Andrew Peterson’s album Behold the Lamb of God. (And I mean listen, as in lay on the couch with my eyes closed, press play, and stir only after the last note sounds.) I’ve talked before about why I find that album to be meaningful.
Devotional reading: Many organizations and churches now put out daily advent devotionals that are great. I also recommend a collection of sermons by Fleming Rutledge called Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus Christ.
Jesse tree: This is something we’ve decided to start doing as our kiddo gets older. It’s an ancient concept that focuses on the lineage of Jesus. The tree begins bare, and each day an ornament is added that represents some aspect of the big-picture story of Christ’s coming. You can read a corresponding Scripture passage (or read it as a family). By Christmas Day, the tree is full of these ornaments. There are many derivations, so you can adjust the Scripture passages and the ornaments to what you desire. For example, the ornaments can be simple paper printouts that you can color—or you could make or buy your own set. You can learn more and find a recommended guide here.
2. Spend some time in the Old Testament. Advent focuses on waiting, anticipation, and longing for promises to be fulfilled. Try reading some of the Old Testament prophets each day, particularly passages looking forward to the coming of the Messiah. Sit with the long, long wait of the coming of Christ. You can cobble together your own set of readings, choose one prophet, or use a curated guide. I recently had this one recommended to me that uses the minor prophets.
3. Practice a (spiritual) discipline. At the end of the day, cutting out the time for stillness, solitude, and reflection is a discipline. As with all spiritual disciplines, it’s about intentionally engaging in a practice that creates a space for you to be formed by the Holy Spirit. Some spiritual disciplines are on-the-go or communal. But some just require us to slam on the brakes and stop. We say no to the tyranny of the urgent and make the counter-cultural decision to be still, to not do, to be quiet. This will look different for each of us. It might be a pocket of time in the morning or in the evening. It may be making a day-long retreat or setting aside a day as a family to just stay at home together. It will require discipline and it may require sacrifice—but isn’t this true of most of the good things in life?
4. Say no. This is a hard one for many of us, but it is one of the foundational ways we can build spaces of stillness into this season of the year. I’m not saying you can’t participate in any of the festivities. But do you have to go to all of those parties and cookie swaps? Do you have to participate in the children’s program and the Christmas Eve service and sing that solo? Or is it possible to say no to a few of those events? Saying no does not make you a Scrooge. It means you’re making an intentional step to clear some space.
5. Simplify. There are many aspects of this season that don’t have to be as dramatic or over-the-top as we sometimes make them. Do you really need to make twelve different types of pie or forty-six dozen Christmas cookies? Do I need to host and cook everything from scratch and make my own greenery? Sometimes instead of saying no or cutting something out completely we just need to find a way to simplify what we’re doing. Maybe you have a potluck instead of cooking everything yourself. Maybe you use more gift bags and less wrapping paper. Maybe you buy the pie or the greenery or use boxed mashed potatoes. Simple may be different—but it is not bad.
6. Take the focus off the presents. Generosity is a wonderful thing—and a biblical value. There is nothing wrong with generosity expressed in a thoughtfully chosen gift for someone you love. But all too often, Christmas presents devolve beyond generosity. We can easily become swept away by consumerism that tells us to buy more, that we need the newest gadgets, that turns all of our attention on material possessions. This sort of gift-giving or list-generating produces fruit of a very different sort. We may become envious or judgmental about those who have more disposable income than we do—or have less but spend beyond their means. We may find self-righteous pity for those who have less materially than we do. We may find seeds of greed in our heart. We may be distracted by comparison. I often hear that this season isn’t about the presents—but what practical steps do we take to make it clear that we believe this?
7. Ask an important litmus test question. Is this going to help focus me on the wonder of the coming of Christ to our world? Will it cultivate hope in my heart for his return as the glorious King? Is this going to bring me joy, bless others, be a source of rest, or prepare me to celebrate Christ’s birth? How is this activity or practice forming me, what fruit does it produce, and what does it reveal about the state of my heart and my priorities?
We are all different. We’re in different stages of life. We have different gifts and callings. For some, one activity or practice might be an appropriate decision to cultivate an Advent spirit, for another it would not. This is why we need to use questions like these to reflect personally as we decide what to do and what not to do. So we ask each time - what is this doing and what will this do in my soul?
